Sunday, 2 October 2011
Falling in Love!
Adolescence plays such an important role in the life of a person that it could make a difference between a well planned life and a frustrated one. The ability of the person to handle this delicate period decides how successful he / she will be in the adult life. This period relates to the span of time between the time of Puberty and the Maturity. With the changes that take place in the body and the brain due to hormonal effects can really influence a person’s behaviour. Examples of such behaviour can be that of youngsters who get infatuated with their favourite Film Hero / Heroine and keep carrying their pictures with stars in their eyes! They are too immature to know the difference between “Infatuation” and “Love”. The momentary crush due to physical attraction is often misinterpreted as Love.The Role of Parent
The parents have a very important role to play in this regard. When their children attain puberty and are in their adolescence, it is vital for them to discuss about sex, relationships etc with the children in a free and frank manner. This would provide the much needed opportunity for the children to open up with their doubts and feelings without any inhibition. Unless your child feels free to discus with you about anything that is bothering him / her you are failing in your duty of creating the much needed trust.
A parent has to explain detail about the feeling of Love, what it entails and how it builds mutual bond of friendship, affection and respect. They should be advised about letting it mature into a deep bond of relationship before resorting to any physical form of committing to each other. They have to be counseled on the need for compatibility on many things besides just emotion, like education, financial stability, social and economical issues etc. Hasty decisions based on perceived Love often result in unsatisfactory marriages and lead to separation eventually.Practical Situation
I know of a friend whose daughter fell in love with a boy and wanted to marry him. When she told her parents about the same the parents were taken aback. The girl had just completed her graduation and was looking for a job and she had met this boy at the “Employment Registration” office. The parents acted in a very structured manner. They called her for a detailed discussion. They asked her whether she knows all the details about him and if he is in a position to support her and maintain an independent Family. She said that he was an Engineering Graduate looking for a job and has passed with distinction. His parents are school teachers. They asked her to invite the boy to their house for Tea. When the Boy came home they were happy to see a well mannered, handsome young man . The boy spoke of his ambitions to become a scientist in Rocket Propulsion and help the country in exploring the space. He also said that he loved the girl very much and would like to get engaged to her for eventual marriage to be done after he settles into a permanent Job of his dreams. He had also spoken to his own parents about his decision and they were keen to meet the girl’s family. Hearing this, the girl’s parents knew that the boy is very matured and well balanced man and a suitable match for their child. This is the way an adolescent should approach this issue, in my opinion.